Reflecting

Hi,

How’s things? Hopefully good and if not, let’s cross our fingers and maybe they’ll turn that way soon.

By random happenstance, I stumbled upon this article: the difference between reacting and responding. Well worth a read in my opinion and YATGB can certainly wait if you want to read it first. If you don’t, my takeaway from it was self care – and perhaps for others too – by giving yourself time to respond to something after thinking.

It seems that in short media posts, clickbait, tweets, and manipulative headlines, well, it seems hard not to react a lot of the time. But, yet, in recent months I’ve found myself taking a deep breath, allowing myself an eye roll, and deciding not to have my emotional buttons pushed. But good grief, it can be difficult since days. 😉

Looking away from external nonsense, what about the internal dialogue? I’ve written before about only trying to talk to yourself as a friend, and perhaps there’s also an element of not reacting to your emotions. I don’t mean in a Vulcan stylee (there’s two references that’ll age me 😉), but deciding to give the emotion some time to filter through our mind and, maybe, deciding not to feel too much.

i know that on bad days, certain things can cause negative feelings to spike. Mild dysphoria because, thankfully, I think I’ve tried to made peace with what I am physically and mentally. But, emotions rarely follow structured thought, IMO, and there’s been times when I’ve felt vulnerable about how I look, and the sound of heels, a scent of perfume, or the swing of someone’s hair…. these things can remind me just how male I am. That’s the difficult bit.

But, with a deep breath and focusing on what’s going well, that seems to keep the positive vibes to the front. Sure, I may not be fancy today, but I will be later in the week. To count one’s blessing really does seem to help. Deciding not to look at what I don’t have, bit thinking on what I do. Maybe painted toes, smooth pins, or remembering I have a choice in these matters.

L x

2 Comments

  1. I’d say choice was wider in these matters: react, respond … or initiate … or ignore.

    Social media are a bane for two reasons. Firstly these media give a global platform to every loon, narcissist and bully in the world who could previously operate only locally, inflicting their toxic feelings only on immediate colleagues, family or lads at the pub. Secondly, it stifles debate and discussion as all one can do is view what someone has posted and then comment. There’s no direct engagement. So reactive response is almost by definition the way that social media works.

    A calmer life can be had by ignoring and, actually, I notice that political posts often garner fewer Likes or comments than social posts. Most people prefer to avoid trouble. Least said, soonest mended, as our grandmothers used to say.

    Or we can initiate and create our own narrative based on reason and humanity in contrast to the crazy noise of the weirdos, liars and control freaks, offering a haven of calm, measured, kind approachability that I am certain attracts more followers in the long run than controversial rants that contrast and conflict with all the other controversial rants but which last in the media for less time.

    I find it works with personal feelings, too. This week has been slightly stressful so today I am going to wear my favourite perfume and curl up with a good book because I need a bit of emotional nourishment. Treating oneself or saying “sod it” to something that doesn’t have to be done immediately is allowed and necessary. These days I make ignoring the world’s demands a virtue.

    Have a nice weekend. Sue x

    Sue x

    1. Yes, the article goes with the A or B choice, and – like much in life 😉- the reality is often more nuanced.

      Social media seems quite the double edged sword. Yes, it can bring communities together, however the manipulation through ‘likes’ and that seemingly anything can be written and then shared planet wide without fact checking is troubling. While I might have this blog, I’m glad I withdrew from those platforms.

      Interestingly the US seems to be waking up to the damage unchecked and unregulated tech companies are doing to us.

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