Yesterday was a Chams meeting and with the heat wave this week, I decided not to pack a bag. When I arrived and started to set the room up, the AC unit said it was 30C. Yikes. 🙂 I’m not sure what would be on the floor first: me or the makeup I’d applied 😁
The funny thing about turning up in bloke mode is…. sometimes, it makes me doubt myself, or more accurately, my authenticity. Am I just, well, making it all up? I think the truth of it is no, I’m not. I’ve been on this gender circus (no clown references please 😉) for most of my life and I think I’ve been at a point where I sort of get where I fit.
Yet there’s that little voice that tells you negative things and I do my best not to listen to it. Most of the time I manage to bat it away or ignore it. Most of the time… I find it interesting in that I don’t apply the same criticism of judgement to anyone who attends in similar garb: I’d be an awful organiser if I did 😁
So, what – of anything can we draw from this ramble? I think we’re probably at the point on YATGB map where two streets meet: Be-Kind-To-Yourself Boulevard and You-Are-Valid Street. 🙂 It’s not about self deception, but knowing that concerns and slight wobbles in confidence are there throughout our lives. Maybe they’re actually useful, in that they cause us to think things through and not get caught in our own hype. So long as we’re not stuck in fretting, is it okay? Perhaps the best option, to take stock, be kind, and put false worries behind you.
Maybe there’s another way to look at it, that I feel okay about myself to turn up in Richard mode, and know that my friends at the group accept me for who I am however I look. Then again, I may be seeing myself up for some mild teasing 😁