Since 2006

Hi,

While I was looking through photos for another A Look Back post, I stumbled on a reference to my first visit to Chameleons. By all that’s fabulous, that’s 2006. Yikes. Two meetings a month, give or take, for the last umpteen years or so.

I try not to look at the time in not in Lynn mode. Partly because I am a part timer, but mainly as I think if you look at the time you’re not doing whatever, it’s a less than positive outlook. Maybe we’re back to the old adage, what you think you don’t have, makes you miserable.

Perhaps that explains why I don’t think of Me Time as a thing. Partly because it suggests of it’s not the former you’re doing something you don’t want to. That binary feeling of yes/no – or more accurately win/lose? – does not seem to be helpful. Rather, looking at the moments in which things are okay or even enjoyable are perhaps where it’s at.

The run up to going was quite nerve wracking if I remember correctly. As I and others at the group have said to new attendees, there’s a lot going on for you to get there.

  • Social: what will others at the group be like? I’ve got to walk into a place where I don’t know anyone.
  • Travel: Where is the venue? How will I get home? How do I get out of the house dressed or not?
  • Appearance: do I arrived dressed or change on site? What about going home? I am ready to be seen by others? What if I don’t have everything line a wig or makeup?

Hidden in that lot is a whiff of self doubt. That nagging sensation that you’re going to be found as a fraud, a ‘n00b’, etc. Put that drama alarm down, take a deep breath, and relax…. ❤️ If you’re thinking of making the step to visit a group, please don’t let Imposter syndrome hold you back. Just be you, do what you can, be kind to yourself, and go for it.

We are all on our own path through life. What works for me may different for you and that’s cool. Not worse or better: just different. If you can learn something from this stuff, great! But if not, just enjoy the distraction and maybe share how you’ve got by.

Meanwhile, back in 2006

Visiting Chams since 2006? I feel very lucky to have met such a good bunch of people and perhaps doubly so for the support of The Ever Lovely Mrs J. Going to the group….? I think I found myself, found friends, and they’ve helped me through the bad and through a lot of good too. Last night’s online chat was a hoot and thinking of have that in my life back in the 90s seemed the impossible dream. Yet, here we are.

So yeah, post COVID19, put on your Big Girl Pants and maybe get out there. Okay, maybe not in just your knickers. 😉

L x

6 Comments

  1. Wow, 15 years since first going to Chams! It’s good to read your summary. Hope they go from strength to strength. I made several good friends who had attended Nottingham Chams at some time or other, including you, so it’s always struck me as attracting the right sort. Sue x

    1. Yes, it’s been a few years hasn’t it? 🙂 I think we crossed paths at Invasion a few years back. Oh, and then London for a quick bite to eat. That all seems a world away given the lockdown and staying in.

      Do you hear much fron the others? I’ve lost touch with Maddie, Gaynor, Sam, and the others. I guess people move on.

      1. Hi Lynn, sadly many of those girls have disappeared, although I still have contact with Tania Thomas, and Emma W is very much alive. I don’t really understand why people vanish without trace with no goodbyes. It seems to be a trans thing. Sue x

        1. I wonder if it’s like blogging, finding an abandoned email, or ignored text? They’re left so long that some may feel they cannot pick things back up.

          Then there’s a rare few who slip back into the quiet. Perhaps due to family needs or work commitments, and there’s less room for T stuff.

          I did get in touch with a former attendee of Chams and they said they were doing well in just their bloke life, that they didn’t have time to make the group nor T stuff. So it goes.

  2. Belated congrats on your 15th anniversary, that’s at least 50 in trans years. 😉
    My first was a few years later and planned meticulously.

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