A blog post of two parts today 🙂
Back in October 2005, a young (ish) chap sat with his back to the garden, in a room that’s no longer there. Autumn sunlight glowed against the wallpaper, but the man was lost in his thoughts, staring at the computer’s bulky monitor. Should he press ‘post’ or not? There’s a dilemma of the modern world many folk don’t have 😉
The computer, the wallpaper, and that room have all gone – renovations and recycling – but somehow, this blog remains. Yes, I’ve switched platforms, yet it’s the same old weekly posts. Well, occasional midweek ones, this year too. Various topics of reflection, sharing, trying to change things, and – I still hope for this – that over the last fifteen years, it shows being trans – part time or otherwise – is okay. That life goes on and it’s not a cliff dive, untested parachute jump, nor the end of a relationship: just another part of what we are. As the rights of trans people improve over the years – although we’ve still got a long way to go, IMO – there seems a gathering voice that many people are happy blending or switching appearances to suit. When I see the next generation accepting and excelling, I feel proud of them for being true to themselves.
Regardless of things being overt or otherwise, being on the Trans spectrum brings another aspect to us and, I think, to society. Not better or worse, just different. Being in the middle from a gender perspective gives you – or perhaps I should only write about my experiences? – a different perspective on life. Just last week I was listening to Munroe Bergdorf on the excellent podcast, I Weigh with Jameela Jamil. Munroe said something along the lines of looking at being Trans as a gift, at how it had changed her, and how it had made her look at the world.
I’ve quipped before that it’s okay until it isn’t, and perhaps there’s some truth in that line. For all of us, life is mostly okay until it isn’t. Occasionally it’s blooming awful, but there’s more great moments than not. Keeping a memory jar over the last few years had shown much how much good stuff – little things as well as big events – there is. With COVID19, life is very different to last year, but good things still happen and I think it’s important to try and help where you can.
If I reflected on Munroe’s words, what do I feel? I think if I’m honest, I wouldn’t change things. Maybe back as a scared teen or ‘going straight’ twenty something, I wished things were different. But… I think back then, I didn’t want to be ‘normal’, I am normal, just like everyone else 😉 What I really wanted was to be accepted, or more accurately, to accept myself. So no, I don’t think I’d change things. It’s not always been easy, but then, isn’t anywhere worth going something you need to work at?
Thinking on the years that have gone by, I’m incredibly grateful for the patience, love, and support from the Ever Lovely Mrs J. I hope that this shows that marriages can still work when one partner is on the Trans spectrum. Yes, things need to be worked through, but listening to other couples, I think that’s true for most. I think it also shows – as per a conversation with Mrs J today – that being trans doesn’t necessarily mean transition. It may mean sharing wardrobe space and seeing your hubby with both ears pierced or occasionally smooth pins, but – and as we’ve shared and joked – there can be worse things.
Here’s to another few years of blogging eh? 🙂
The Jones Family are currently enjoying a staycation and it’s been great to break up the routine of school-run, work, tea, sleep, etc. with… umm… a different routine of lie-ins, gaming, long walks, house stuff, and not going from meeting to meeting. Not that I really mind the former, it is just that a change is nice from time to time. It’s been good to have to time to get things done – like replacing our eldest’s bed – and having a wee bit of a tidy up. Usually, such things would make the weekend zip by in a blink, but with time off, there’s time to recover and not rush things.
Due to some house repairs, I was late setting off for Thursday. Still, last time’s early doors was a pleasant luxury, so looking back at the good stuff helps. I did have to leave Val on Checkpoint Charlie duty while – as she put it – my Polyfilla set 🙂 I also forgot the new top I bought in the sale, but I always pack spares, so all was not lost. The new skirt – a pretty velvet number – was a win, although the COVID19 restrictions have meant I’m not as steady in heels as I was. Still, more reason to practice perhaps? 🙂
Talking of repairs, the Centre where Chams HQ is, is currently being renovated and changes are afoot. Feel free to read those last few words in a posh Victorian sleuth’s voice. (“Watson? Some help please. I can’t undo this accursed corset and the Inspector is due at the quarter of the hour!” :-P). Where was I? Oh, renovations, yes. The upstairs of the building is having a full refit and it’s good to see that coming alone nicely. Once they are done, the ground floor – where most of the room rentals are – will follow. We may end up with our own dedicated room plus kitchen area and maybe a bespoke changing room plus fancy loos too. Bonus points to any of you who said ‘ooo’ in a comedy way 🙂