Fifteen Years Later

Hi,

A blog post of two parts today ๐Ÿ™‚

Blog History

Back in October 2005, a young (ish) chap sat with his back to the garden, in a room that’s no longer there. Autumn sunlight glowed against the wallpaper, but the man was lost in his thoughts, staring at the computer’s bulky monitor. Should he press ‘post’ or not? There’s a dilemma of the modern world many folk don’t have ๐Ÿ˜‰

The computer, the wallpaper, and that room have all gone – renovations and recycling – but somehow, this blog remains. Yes, I’ve switched platforms, yet it’s the same old weekly posts. Well, occasional midweek ones, this year too. Various topics of reflection, sharing, trying to change things, and – I still hope for this – that over the last fifteen years, it shows being trans – part time or otherwise – is okay. That life goes on and it’s not a cliff dive, untested parachute jump, nor the end of a relationship: just another part of what we are. As the rights of trans people improve over the years – although we’ve still got a long way to go, IMO – there seems a gathering voice that many people are happy blending or switching appearances to suit. When I see the next generation accepting and excelling, I feel proud of them for being true to themselves.

Regardless of things being overt or otherwise, being on the Trans spectrum brings another aspect to us and, I think, to society. Not better or worse, just different. Being in the middle from a gender perspective gives you – or perhaps I should only write about my experiences? – a different perspective on life. Just last week I was listening to Munroe Bergdorf on the excellent podcast, I Weigh with Jameela Jamil. Munroe said something along the lines of looking at being Trans as a gift, at how it had changed her, and how it had made her look at the world.

I’ve quipped before that it’s okay until it isn’t, and perhaps there’s some truth in that line. For all of us, life is mostly okay until it isn’t. Occasionally it’s blooming awful, but there’s more great moments than not. Keeping a memory jar over the last few years had shown much how much good stuff – little things as well as big events – there is. With COVID19, life is very different to last year, but good things still happen and I think it’s important to try and help where you can.

If I reflected on Munroe’s words, what do I feel? I think if I’m honest, I wouldn’t change things. Maybe back as a scared teen or ‘going straight’ twenty something, I wished things were different. But… I think back then, I didn’t want to be ‘normal’, I am normal, just like everyone else ๐Ÿ˜‰ What I really wanted was to be accepted, or more accurately, to accept myself. So no, I don’t think I’d change things. It’s not always been easy, but then, isn’t anywhere worth going something you need to work at?

Thinking on the years that have gone by, I’m incredibly grateful for the patience, love, and support from the Ever Lovely Mrs J. I hope that this shows that marriages can still work when one partner is on the Trans spectrum. Yes, things need to be worked through, but listening to other couples, I think that’s true for most. I think it also shows – as per a conversation with Mrs J today – that being trans doesn’t necessarily mean transition. It may mean sharing wardrobe space and seeing your hubby with both ears pierced or occasionally smooth pins, but – and as we’ve shared and joked – there can be worse things.

Here’s to another few years of blogging eh? ๐Ÿ™‚

Thursday

The Jones Family are currently enjoying a staycation and it’s been great to break up the routine of school-run, work, tea, sleep, etc. with… umm… a different routine of lie-ins, gaming, long walks, house stuff, and not going from meeting to meeting. Not that I really mind the former, it is just that a change is nice from time to time. It’s been good to have to time to get things done – like replacing our eldest’s bed – and having a wee bit of a tidy up. Usually, such things would make the weekend zip by in a blink, but with time off, there’s time to recover and not rush things.

Due to some house repairs, I was late setting off for Thursday. Still, last time’s early doors was a pleasant luxury, so looking back at the good stuff helps. I did have to leave Val on Checkpoint Charlie duty while – as she put it – my Polyfilla set ๐Ÿ™‚ I also forgot the new top I bought in the sale, but I always pack spares, so all was not lost. The new skirt – a pretty velvet number – was a win, although the COVID19 restrictions have meant I’m not as steady in heels as I was. Still, more reason to practice perhaps? ๐Ÿ™‚

Talking of repairs, the Centre where Chams HQ is, is currently being renovated and changes are afoot. Feel free to read those last few words in a posh Victorian sleuth’s voice. (“Watson? Some help please. I can’t undo this accursed corset and the Inspector is due at the quarter of the hour!” :-P). Where was I? Oh, renovations, yes. The upstairs of the building is having a full refit and it’s good to see that coming alone nicely. Once they are done, the ground floor – where most of the room rentals are – will follow. We may end up with our own dedicated room plus kitchen area and maybe a bespoke changing room plus fancy loos too. Bonus points to any of you who said ‘ooo’ in a comedy way ๐Ÿ™‚

L x

8 Comments

  1. Just to say well done! And that from someone who is so far back in the closet I can clearly see Narnia ๐Ÿ™‚

    You are an inspiration in so many ways and I hope you know that, even though so many people probably don’t/can’t/feel unable to articulate. Please keep it up for another 15 years at least ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thanks Cathy. Just writing and sharing, one week at a time. That’s all it is.

      One step at a time to head out of Narnia. Watch out for anyone offering a ride to the Ice Palace ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Ooo!

    Well, congratulations on fifteen years a-blogging, Lynn, and for creating a blog that’s popular, entertaining and useful.

    As ever, it’s nice to see your outfits over the years. Your latest is very lovely. That slinky black evening number in the last pic is hot! What curves! You watch yourself, missy, or the ‘Admirers’ will be onto you!

    Stay safe and well in these difficult times, Lynn.

    Sue x

    1. Thanks Sue. It seems such a long time when I think back to all that’s happened. Not just in the world, but for our family and for me as well.

      The photos are a mishmash of times at the Centre, rare times out, and a few home snaps as well. I should probably rejig them into order, but that wouldn’t need a bit of thinking about ๐Ÿ™‚

      Yes, the Xmas Do snap with the hair and all the curves, that’s a rare shot when lightning, pose, padding, outfit, makeup, and mood all come together. One to hang on to for the memory jar.

      Oh, and I’ve been practicing my elbow jutting to keep unwanted advances at bay. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m a one woman… err… man? ๐Ÿ˜

  3. Congrats on the super blog’s fifteenth anniv, from someone out to world and wife for 40 years next month. Live about 45 miles south of you at end of M69. Unfortunately all trips up motorway to the north are currently on hold, Rotherham Harrogate Chesterfield. Thank heaven dressing at home is welcomed.
    Your photos are good and the figure is too. Much better than mine since lockdown. Digital photography is a boon, take many pics and see immediately which are acceptable and which are splendid. Usually about 1% in my case, I can always see some fault! My wife has been an excellent guide and critic.
    Keep well and practise in safety. Better times next year.

  4. Hi Chris,

    Thanks for dropping in – so to speak! ๐Ÿ™‚ Lots of things are on hold due to COVID19, but I guess we have to make the best of it. Good news on your option to dress at home and the story of your wife. Maybe we’ll see you at Chams HQ one day?

    I am struggling a little with keeping trim at the mo. But, with a half term break, there’s more chance for family treats and that usually means something tasty! Luckily I’m only on my ‘less pies for you, Jones’ belt notch at the mo. Anymore than that and I’ll need to contact British Steel to reinforce my corsetry. ๐Ÿ˜

    I think digital snaps have been a big benefit to our community. No worries about having to wait for things to be developed and if the shot was off, delete and retake. I know what you mean about the 1% of photos. I think we’re our own worst critic a lot of the time.

    Stay safe. ๐Ÿ‘

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