Give it space


Last night’s online meeting went from When Shall We Three Meet Again to the Fab Four. Despite occasional WiFi snags and some interface issues, a group of us got together for an hour or so. While talking through a headset isn’t quite the same as meeting up, it helps, and the shared laughter raises the spirits. I should add that that’s not in a necromantic and/or demonic manner. Can an atheist be possessed? 🤔

Part of the conversation turned to writing, or more accurately blogging, if there’s a difference. Okay, I’ll be open and say while putting thoughts on – uhhh – digital paper is the act of writing, I don’t consider what I do, at least, as writing. Maybe it’s a self-confidence thing, maybe it’s keeping ones feet on the ground, or maybe there is a true gap between what’s effectively an open, online diary, and the activity of the author. The professional writer if you will. Answers to a comment box below.

One of the attendees, and I’ll spare their blushes, spoke about their aim of writing something that interested them and that it had to feel fresh. I joked that the way to keep blogging is to have a low quality threshold. While I can make self depreciating quips about what I do, it’s by no means a judgement on others. That would be rude.

Crap jokes aside, I think there’s a truth in the concept of a threshold. If you hold each would-be idea to the harsh beams of interesting, cool, or suchlike, then do you give it time to breathe and expand?

close up of hand over white background

While I think there’s value in – how can I put this? – not junk posting, to hold yourself back by never pressing the publish button, how do you learn and grow? I know when I look back at things I’ve worn or posts I’ve written from back in the day: some things I’m not okay with. Take for example last week’s outfit gallery and I probably wouldn’t do the monochrome short skirt again. Mind you, I think I did for a Xmas party, so perhaps the learning point was occasional and age? But, if I’d not tried it, would I now know? As some folk joke at work, unknown unknowns or the similar we don’t know, what we don’t know. Maybe you need to stumble about a bit to find what’s works for you.

So jumping back a paragraph about giving something space, maybe the idea needs a little time. Give it some room in your head and your heart. Let it move about, shift, even – and at the risk of getting a bit Trans 😉 – transform into something new. If nothing else you’ve explored things and maybe that’ll take you someplace new. Plus, if not you, then maybe someone else can pick up on it and offer new thoughts. Collaboration for the win 👍

L x


  1. Blogging is most definitely writing. And if you have readers then you must, logically, be writing. What you put up here is deemed to have been published. OK, so it can be changed, like an online newspaper article, but you’d never tell a journalist who reviewed their work in the light of an ongoing situation that they weren’t a writer. I’d say that Spaz, whose graffiti tag is repeated all along a certain stretch of railway line, was not a writer as he has nothing to communicate but his name. A blogger lies somewhere between the professional journalist and Spaz. I put you nearer the journalist: Fiona Bruce lite, let’s say, but with her own news to muse on. Perhaps your style is too “stream of consciousness” for compilation into book form, but it’s readable and communicative all right.
    Sue x
    …News just in [urgent staccato music]: police have caught the vandal known as Spaz. A scuffle resulted in Spaz’s disguise coming off to reveal … [gasps] broadcaster Fiona Bruce. “The BBC makes me report nothing but a messed-up world,” said the disgraced journalist, “and spraying up my route to work is my way of getting back at the universe. The Spaz tag expresses both rage and neediness, and comes in a variety of unsubtle luminescent hues. It’s my best work.”

    1. Yes, it’s frequently a stream of consciousness. I’d like to think of it s conservational, but I think you’re probably closer to the truth. 😁 Eye of the beholder and all that.

      Still, blogging on a Friday night keeps me entertained and I would not have met you, or indeed others, were it not for these ramblings. Reasons to be cheerful as a great man once said.

      1. I’d be happy with Fiona Bruce Lite if could have her hair. But I think the chattier form of blogging is probably more along the lines of the Jane Garvey’s and Fi Glover’s ‘Fortunately..With Fi and Jane’ podcast. (If you haven’t heard this, I urge you to look at some of the episode titles on the BBC downloads site.)

        1. I remember hearing about the podcast when I used to have the radio on. I’m still working my way through other series, so one for the backlog. 🙂

          As to F Bruce, I always thought she has a very sophisticated manner. Let’s hope she’s not Googling herself and ending up here 😉

          “Wait. My hair is style goals for the Trans community?” 😁

        2. I think a number of presenters would be surprised at how much they are style icons for some of the t community: I mentioned to you earlier about being distracted by the pretty and cool looking chiffon dress the BBC Snooker presenter [not Steve Davies] was wearing during the recent hot weather. But also BBC news presenter Sophie Rayworth (hair, immaculate makeup and dress sense); Emily Maitliss; Laura Keunssberg’s stylish coats; and weather presenters Louise Lear and Alexis Green have some nice outfits, even the one that makes Alexis look like a liquorice allsort)
          Or maybe I’m just weird. I’m sure L would think so if she knew what was going on in my head half the time when we’re watching the TV.

      2. Gosh, did we first meet here in the blogosphere? May well have done, Lynn, now you mention it.

        Yes, your style is relaxed and conversational. It’s still writing.

        As discussed in your comment on my recent blog post, maybe an update to My Different Journey is called for. In respect of this topic, the many voices and styles were fascinating, but with one overarching thing in common: being trans is a very real experience; not lifestyle choice, but existence within norms that are often at odds with our reality. Worth revamping IMHO.

        Sue x

    2. “Stream of consciousness” writing can be fine for a book too, although I suspect that a lot of David Sedaris’ anecdotes and ‘Dear Diary’ entries are actually very carefully honed and crafted so that they just read that way.
      Originally I think I was put off posting more because I was surrounded by a number of gender politics and psychology blogs which I thought I ‘should’ be writing about, whereas I got more enjoyment from ones like Hannah’s McKnight’s cute t-girl cartoons in her ‘Illustrated diary of a a crossdresser’.

      1. Oh, I used to love those illustrations that Hannah did. They were very thought provoking.

        As to writing – or blogging – you do you and maybe an audience will arrive that gets it. TBH, I’ve still no idea what resonates with people. I just write this and sometimes people really connect with the post and sometimes they don’t. I write because I love to and if folk are kind enough or motivated to join in, that’s great.

  2. “…being trans is a very real experience; not lifestyle choice.”

    Completely and utterly that, yes. I wonder how many non-trans people understand that? I ask this not as a judgemental question, but with curiosity.

    “…update to My Different Journey…”

    Given I’ve lost contact with some of those good folk, I wonder if we keep the questions and add a year date to the replies? I mean, it shows a point in time of the conversation and things change. Back in the day I would’ve used the word T**nny to comedically self-describe, but it feels wrong and more of a slur now. I don’t miss that word going.

    I’ll have a think about how I could redo ODJ.

    1. Hi again, Lynn. I am still in touch with several of the contributors to Our Different Journey so would be happy to help with an updated or additional version if you wanted to take it forward. Sue x

      1. In that case, a quick chat to make sure they are okay to have their stories shared would be grand.

        I think I’ll need to get the old page shared with a private password until we get consent

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