Nearly half-way through the year already, huh? Although the last… umm… month or two, seems to have been some strangely timeless period. Perhaps it is the routine of being mostly indoors. I say mostly, as although the Jones Crew are not travelling, the Ever Lovely Mrs J and I still need to walk our two dogs, and Muggins here goes out for groceries. Luckily, the village is both very small and therefore fairly quiet, so keeping a distance is pretty easy.
I had a long chat with Midnight (thanks Mrs!) via the usual Thursday Night on-line call. We’ve switched from Skype to an open-source system (Jitsi), which is free, fully encrypted, easy to use, and anonymous. I think we spent about nearly two hours just waffling on and examining the world through the slightly off-kilter lens of being trans-something-or-other.
Amongst the topics was the talk of lower stress levels, possibly down to the lack of commuting and no dashing between meetings, but also, maybe the ability to let one’s proverbial guard down a little. I think I’ve blogged about this before: the concept of the mask. Sue certainly mentioned something akin to it in her comment about the Flags post from last week.
What is the mask? Well, I guess it is the front you put on when you need to be a certain way. Certainly, there’s the professional one that we slip on for work purposes. There’s our social one – possibly different when we’re in front of our family. Lastly, there’s probably the truth…. although I’ve heard it said that there’s one below that: who we really are, but can’t admit to ourselves. There’s a thought and a possibly a long trip through therapy 🙂
But, armchair psychology aside, and while I’m not presenting as Lynn at any point, I have a little more space at home to blur the lines a little. Much as I love a pretty shirt, working remotely means I can wear shorts, sandals, and more gender-neutral clothing. A clever person may argue all clothes are neutral and it’s us who gender them, but I’m not that smart 🙂 There is something in the movement, the cut, and the feel of certain garments that make me feel better about who I am. I can feel trapped in a suit and tie. But ‘bloke casual’, co-ordinated separates, or a dress, and I feel much more relaxed. Likewise, straight-cut jeans make me feel frumpy, but slim fit (Richard) and skinny (Lynn) make me feel okay.
In other news, and seeing as we are talking about appearance, I thought I’d give May a look back after the post in April. May seems to be not quite Spring and not quite Summer. The lighter nights mean an option of a quick outdoor photo and a shift towards flats and sandals.
L18’s outfit is one I love. It’s both pretty and comfortable. It feels quite ‘daytime’, if that makes sense. That wrap dress is one of the first things I bought while out & about, so I have happy memories linked to it. L16 was when I got that wig. I think of all the hairstyles I’ve had, this is the one I feel is the most ‘me’. If L18 is a daytime out & about look, then L19 seems more smart office. Certainly a lot smarter than L15’s tablecloth shirt 😉 Ah, the moment when you see something, love the look of it, and once it’s one: ah, maybe not. Still, lessons learned and a chance to gift to something to charity.