Small moments and self-care


With both kids off from school and the Ever Lovely Mrs J having a few days here and there, Chez Jones seems to be getting into holiday mode. Lazy mornings, a later than usual bedtime, and occasional trips out for lunch or to stretch the legs.

This is all very nice…. unless you’re the one at work 😉

Tongue-in-cheek grumpiness aside, they all seem to be doing well, which is good.

The trouble with a quiet house on a morning, is I don’t have the same get up and go that I would usually. Indeed, one might say that my get-up-and-go is touch and go at the best of times. It doesn’t take me much to slip into a more – shall we say – relaxed mood around getting up, taking the dog out, and heading into work.

With that in mind, a later start means skipping breakfast so I can get in for 9AM. The thing is, by 11ish, my brain seems to slip into neutral. It’s too early for lunch and I don’t think that eating a chocolate bar will help my waistline. Plus, a sugar rush is only temporary and really, I should just get up a little earlier.

When I found myself hitting the wall last time, I locked my computer and got up to wander around the building (it’s a big site) until my head was clear. I did feel a little guilty at doing this, but at the same time, I wasn’t getting any work done.

With the presenteeism goblin told to jog on, I did my best to enjoy the blue sky, stay out of the direct sun, and enjoy the feel of the breeze. As I did so, I wondered if this is another aspect of self-care, and, if so, if you are not with it, is removing yourself and giving yourself some time to decompress and get yourself together a positive thing? How could it not be?

Perhaps, so it is with being T as well. There are times when the green-eyed dysphoric monster vies for our attention and instead of letting it tell us how bad we look, perhaps a better route would be to do something to distract. A long walk, a hobby, a computer game, or visiting a friend for a chat. Anything to keep the mind busy and not giving the demon ‘brain time’ to torment.

Of course, this isn’t guaranteed to work, but is it not worth a shot? The metaphorical sitting on a quiet bench away from the mind clutter and doing something to help. Maybe even a spot of gratitude daydreaming, perhaps.

For example, the Ever Lovely Mrs J showed me an advert for a make-up club. She said: if we signed up for this, I could have the skincare products and you could get some slap at a knockdown price. Then there was the happy news in that a local business has settled their training bill with Chameleons: that’s certainly propped up the funds.

To me, those little moments are to be kept close and dwelled upon when you need them.

Take care,


  1. Our EHS assessments always advise us to take breaks from the computer screen at intervals, get up and walk around, even (horror) do some exercise. It is meant to avoids issues with eyestrain, RSI or back ache which could be more costly in the long run than having people chained to the keyboard all day.
    The makeup club sounds perfect. And I'd definitely go for the skincare yourself as well. I wish I'd started on skin creams like Nivea Q10 earlier.
    Be good to Mrs J. She sounds a rare and precious gift for a t-girl to have found.

    1. Regular breaks when being mostly office based sound a very good idea, IMHO. Luckily, I'm not a 9 to 5 desk bound person, so I get a fair amount of walking around and talking with people.

      Thanks for the suggestion re skin care. I do moisturise most days and that's with a SPF built in. That and occasional face scrubs help. The moisturiser helps my makeup stay put too.

      Yes, Mrs J is both wise and beautiful. I think I'd have worried less as a trans teen if I knew things could be as good as they are now. Self acceptance, a loving partner, a family, and some awesome trans friends too.

Leave a Reply to Lynn Jones Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.