Day & Night


A day out

It’s been a short week for Yours Truly, What with the Easter Bank Holidays and an extra day off on Tuesday. The Ever Lovely Mrs J and I looked down to Leicester. Mainly as a break from the norm and to grab a spot of lunch together. We looked at a few hidden bits of urban history, people watched a bit, enjoyed the spring sunshine, and took our time.

Mrs J said she had an HR course coming up on trans awareness which made us both chuckle given our circumstances. The conversation drifted around Grayson Perry (and his/her eloquence), how some men dress up (I don’t mean crossdress. Think MAMILs, bikers, hipsters, sportsmen, etc), and she said how understanding the motivation behind it [being a part-timer like me] is a struggle. I can totally understand that, and there may well be as many drives for trans folk as there are people. For me, and I did share this with Mrs J, is that it’s about wanting to feel pretty. I don’t mind being in Richard garb for most of the time, and regular readers will know that I don’t like that to be all of the time. See also: it’s okay until it isn’t 😉 Still, a spell here and there in Lynn attire and somehow I feel okay about who I am. Things like pierced ears, smooth pins, fancy shirts, and painted toenails all help too; but that’s not always practical. Well, apart from fancy shirts: that’s me hiding in plain sight. 😉

I didn’t want to spoil our day by talking about bare legs. Coming clean about something in a place where your partner can’t express their feelings safely seems a bit mean to me. I’ve heard former work colleagues – usually men – use that tactic and it’s never sat well with me. Anyway, returning to the unspoken leg situation, I have felt less cross and more relaxed about life. Indeed Mrs J commented that I am more laid back. The conversation changed as these things do and that was that.

It did feel slightly odd walking about in Richard mode, but with such good company, the time went quickly. I think my feet were glad of bloke rather than lady boots, that’s for sure. 🙂 We did spot one lady sporting heels as carrying various shopping bags. I’m not sure how she managed. Maybe she got her friend to wheel get around on a parcel trolley. 🙂

A night out

Chams was this week and things were a little more complicated than usual. It seems a horse fair was being organised by a traveller community. This was because they’d lost the location of their regular venue, so for whatever reason, Nottingham – perhaps with it being just off the M1 became the choice spot. It seems that there’s quite a he-said/she-said situation over the permission to do so on the land that’s been picked. Apparently, there’s an estimate is about 10,000 folk turning up over the weekend and due to the big crowds and police concerns around safety, businesses have been advised to close by the police.

I had a few phone calls with our friendly neighbourhood Centre admin who kindly explained the situation. There was a chance that the police may use parts of the building as a base of operations. Plus, with the Centre having a large sports field and carpark, there were concerns that being used illegally. Much as most folk are okay at festivals, events, or footy matches, there’s always a minority who don’t behave and they’re the ones who make the headlines.

But, I decided to chance it and on arrival, I found a police van parked across the gates meaning no vehicles could get in. After a quick call to make sure we were still okay to use the hall and a chat with a local off duty bobby, all was fine. We had a bit of a faff finding parking, but it all worked out in the end.

Numbers were a little subdued, but equally, my slight concern of any roaming revellers wandering in didn’t happen. Indeed, the surrounding roads were pretty quiet. Mind you, the new security door is a lot better than the old one, so I think that helps to settle nerves for newcomers (and nervous organisers). You need a code to get in, which we’ll need to share with the members.

With numbers being lower than usual the night was a bit more intimate. We had a visit from a dressmaking expert, who’s trying to start an alterations business for trans folk: Chrysalides. I wish Michelle lots of luck with that. Not just because putting yourself into a group of strangers is a bit intimidating, but because I got the feeling that she – like the good folk at TrendCo – was very much about great customer service. Fingers crossed for her, eh?

Although I’d had that cheeky day out a few weeks back, being me again was a very welcome feeling. The holiday heat had dulled, so I went with an old top, black skinny jeans, and my new heels I got in the sale in February. Being in a separate room to Mrs J – due to health issues – I painted my toenails and I’m still enjoying the idea of a prettier look. Funny, even though I can’t see or feel them, the idea that they are like that helps me be more okay with who am I.

In other good news, I took Sue’s and Diane’s advice about blusher and having asked for some help while out last time, I was much happier with the result. I don’t think you’ll see what on the feature photo, so there’s another here. I did feel a bit 80s old school sucking in my cheeks (don’t be rude 😉 ) and blending along, but hey, if the look works, don’t knock it. I guess we come back to staying curious; being willing to ask; and listening to those who’ve been there, got the t-shirt- and worked out blending ;-).

For those of you curious about the Wookie situation, the leg hair is coming back, but I’m not confident about wearing shorts yet. Oddly, it’s too long for nude tights, so I’m in that funny in-between place. That, dear reader, may sound very me. 😉 I shall miss the look when it’s gone, but I guess you have to compromise as best you can.

Take care,


  1. You were supposed to be getting a visit from me last night as I was having a night off running with the Marathon coming up this weekend. That was until Thursday morning when I was driving into work and stopped amidst queuing traffic to allow oncoming traffic to turn right and the car behind crashed heavily into the back of me. The lady who did it was very apologetic about it and accepted full responsibility and it's all being sorted on her insurance. When it came to giving my name I gave both male and female names explaining my situation. To which she said 'That's great. You should be your true self. Wear that skirt and heels and be proud'.

    1. Car's gone in today and the guy from the car hire place turned up there. Noticed he was wearing a rainbow lanyard. Had a really nice chat to him on the way to the car hire place. So another Trans positive thing to come out of it all.

    2. That is cool. The lanyard, not the car issues 🙂 I've noticed a number of folk with the rainbow ribbon and I don't think it's a token thing – hopefully more allies! That or there's been some massive coming out party that I missed 🙂

      Good luck with the car.

  2. Very interesting. The situations we face are often unexpected, sometimes comic. Your description of some of them explores contemporary culture in an enlightening way.

    1. Thanks ShyBiker. I think you have to maintain a sense of humour about it all. That may be either my Brit upbringing, or a healthy sense of gallows' humour. 😉

  3. Catching up with my reading list so sorry for the late comment but, as well as wanting to compliment you on another nice outfit, I think the subdued blusher works nicely. Sue x

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