Keeping two wardrobes can be tricky. I would love to think it’s not about deceit, but keeping things out of the way. Not everyone needs to know what we have in the cupboard I guess. But, if you’re in that place where you can be cool with your partner, or even family, I think that’s a good thing to have or to work towards. Plus, if you are in that place, I think it’s a good thing to keep working at respecting your partner’s needs where you can.
Sure, I get that we need to express ourselves and I think we also have to not pursue things at the cost of everything – or indeed – everyone. That, I think, needs to go both ways: things might mean a compromise for various viewpoints and I think things will go iffy if one party feels they’re not getting something out of it.
So, why the blog title? I think there are times when you’re trans that it can feel like a secret identity. There’s the cool side to it, like a superhero, but there’s also the darker side of being more like a spy. People seem to love superheroes – at least in the film/comic world – whereas spies…. that seems more like keeping your cover because of the cost of truth.
I had started this post thinking I might say something about the Amazon lockers or parcel pickups from the Post Office, but – and perhaps as ever 🙂 – I’ve waffled around the subject. To come back to this, I’d say that internet shopping has helped trans folk. As a vendor, you can reach a lot of people through your site, and not having to pay the high street rent nor to have people come to you must be a boon. Plus, I think that the more – shall we say, exploitative? – businesses that used to specialise in selling to trans folk seem to be on the way out because of the acceptance from regular companies and society at large.
Is there – to use a modern phrase – a take away from all this? Yes, I think there’s two.
The first, to trans folk thinking of shopping, is that internet shopping can help you get those niche items: corsets, shoes in larger sizes, padding, etc. But I would say don’t forget your high street stores. Makeup and wigs are, I think at least, things were great customer service makes a massive difference. Sure, a wig may be cheaper online, but will you get the expertise in picking one that suits, or where an experienced vendor can trim the wig to make it just right for you? Sometimes, I think it’s about putting the right amount of money in the right hands.
The second, and I’ll say this to businesses, is by including trans folk in your plans will bring you extra income. By encouraging your staff to be inclusive the T folk who come to you will put out good vibes to bring in others. Boots is a great example of that. There are a few local stores in Nottingham who have really great service when it comes to makeup. I had a similar experience in Marks and Spencers too. Wouldn’t you like to be considered ahead of the curve and thought of as accepting and diverse? Yeah, being cool like that is nice, but what pays the bills are the extra customers you’ll get.