Hello dear reader,
Half-term is nearly over and the Jones Massive have, for once, not been away. Instead, we’ve stayed home and had days out to some local tourist attractions. Fun was had by all and we managed to dodge the iffy weather.
Just before I went away, I was listening to a co-worker… well, rant. She was, and dare I say, rightly so, rather cross. For sake of her privacy, and mine, we’ll call her B.
B was attending a meeting and it was one of those rather unpleasant ones, where the folk who’d turned up, already seemed to have decided what was going to happen. You probably know the sort, where folk start to draw into a single side and you get that sinking feeling.
But, that wasn’t why B was cross. No, this was the plain rudeness of a colleague who continually spoke over, or who interrupted her. Oddly, he doesn’t do this to me. So, I listened to B let off steam and then she asked me: “why do men do this?“
Instead I answered: “Because some people are rude and they don’t respect another person’s point of view.“
The conversation rolled on and once B was calm, we bid our goodbyes and wished each other good luck for the upcoming half-term. B’s child is younger than Little Miss, so he’s at that full of beans stage young boys often can be.
Later, as I got into the car – and after my subconscious had chewed things over – a few thoughts drifted to the surface.
- Firstly, the repeat of B’s antagonist not talking over me. If this is a gender, respect or even a power thing, I wouldn’t like to say.
- Next, when a friend transitioned, she found that where her opinion would usually be listened to, now, it isn’t She said, and again, no names, that in some ways it made her think that people accepted her as she was, but the fact that they didn’t listen became gradually more irritating. Especially, when she was right.
- There have been occasions were the Ever Lovely Mrs J and I have been chatting with others and some – often a guy – will dismiss what Mrs J has to say. Not in an upfront rude way, but subtly as some folk can be. After one such incident, we made a game of it, where I’d shift her words, but repeat the point, some time later. Guess what? Well, actually don’t, there’s no prizes here 🙂 The comment would be accepted as sage advice. Not that this makes me a sage, but more likely, just because a bloke has said it.
But just because others do it, doesn’t mean I have to. I remember reading many years ago about a playwright, and the actors – all women – said of him, that he was someone who actually listened to women. In my odd dislike / rejection of the super-macho, I try to listen too. Not that that doesn’t stop me holding forth when I get going, but I try 🙂 I try, to let people have their say, regardless of who they are and I may have bruised a few egos when I’ve interrupted the interrupter and said “Excuse me, you where saying Sarah?”
It was a bit of a turn when in a meeting a week before, when I wanted to say something and someone gabbed over the top of me. Who should interrupt the talker? B. “Sorry, J, I think Richard was just saying something…”
Equality eh? Maybe if we all listened to each other a little more, rather than thinking of what to say next, the world may be a slightly different place.