I’m not one for a midweek post, but today, I think I’ll make an exception. Ten years to this day, I started this blog.
2own OCTOBER 2005
So, welcome to my little spot of the t’interweb – soon to be filled with occasional guff and nonsense. I’ll be straight with you (heh – straight*) I’m curious as to how long I can keep this blog thing going. Will it disappear by the end of the year or take longer than that? Hmmm… we’ll see.
[ * note to self, don’t laugh at your own jokes – it’s naff. ]
One small step for a trans person. One, more upload of guff to the Interwebs. 🙂
Looking back to 2005, life was very different. I had yet to venture out and the idea of going to a social group, seemed like a pipe dream. Like of a lot of part time trans folk, I’d been following blogs and posting in forums, as an outlet. I was also working in a job that had flexible working, so I could find an hour here, an hour there, to dress up and home, and keep myself balanced.
Things changed, as life does. Sometimes seemingly at random and othertimes, by design. I started to visit Chameleons and as my old friends moved away, or had families of their own, the Chams people became my social group and I’ve made friends there.
I have a life that I could not imagine, when I was a teenager. I’m married to a beautiful and clever lady, I’ve two wonderful children and I have friends who know all of me. Not the shell of masculinity I project, but the actual me, whatever label that sits under. Sometimes I appear in bloke mode, sometimes not. I doesn’t matter if I’m called Richard, or Lynn; I’m still me. Just one appearance is take a little more getting ready. 🙂 From my TG bucket list, I’ve gone to restaurants, danced in nightclubs and just done things that regular people do, just, a trans person. That’s not to brag, but merely a record of my luck and good fortune. I didn’t think I’d get this far, at least, not with a lovely family to keep me grounded. Very much a case of reasons to be cheerful.
I fought with depression and with help, beat it. It might have laid me low, but it didn’t take me. I know of others who’ve not been so lucky. Some manage to live under its dark cloud, while others, sadly, are no longer with us. So, now, I keep my eyes and ears open for those danger signs in others. If I can help just one person, that to me, is a good thing.
Once, I wondered if this dark cloak was down to me staying male, but it wasn’t that. That’s not my path. I know people who’ve gone that route and it’s working for them. They, like me, have done what they needed to do and that’s cool. Go as far as you need and no further. Push yourself if you need to, and there’s no shame for stepping back. Indeed, there’s no prizes for this ride. Just enjoy the journey and don’t worry about the destination.
I’ve met people through this blog, Chameleons and Invasion. People I’d never have met, if I’d stayed hidden away in my closet. Some of them feature in Our Different Journey, a short lived but interesting view into other people’s lives. I think my life is richer for having met them. In a moment of unusual emotional honesty: thank you for your friendship. That’s as true of the Chams folk, to those of you I talk to on-line.
Thank you for reading, and for those of you who comment, your wit and wisdom are appreciated.
Here’s to a few more years,