In the last few months, a few people have said to be that it’s a long haul after Christmas. For me, I like winter. Sure, you have to wrap up, keep the central heating running and the occasional windscreen defrosting is a bit of a faff. Still, I’m a cold weather person. I don’t know if it’s my dose of distant Dutch and slight Scots genetics, but I’m just not good in hot weather. Yeah, my Dad’s been working his way along the family tree and it seems that some of the Jones Massive were from overseas. Bloody foreigners eh? Come over here, etc. 🙂
Much as that could lead us into a soap box moment, or possible, comedy spin about politics, I’m not going to bother. Given the UK elections are a little under 100 days away, I think most of us will have had our fill by then. Plus, who am I to attempt to influence who you vote for, or even if you should vote? (yes, you should vote). No, let us move on to the usual subjects of clothes, what it is to be trans. Well, at least in the narrowband that I experience.
Much as I’ve enjoyed the cold weather walks and the sparkle of a frosty morning during the walk with Little Miss to school (we do have to drive a bit), these last few weeks between Chameleons meetings have been a slog. It’s not work, nor home, nor health that’s been the issue. All of the previous are fine, hell, work’s never been better and given it’s half-term shortly, the Jones Massive are going away for a much anticapted week away. With luck, the weather will be with us and we’ll get some walks in. I just need to lay off the cake 🙂
Yet despite all of that, I have been occasionally moody and short tempered. I’ve not said anything to the Ever Lovely Mrs J, because I don’t think she’d be able to help with this one – not that it’s serious. In fact, when you look at it from outside, it all seems very silly. Except, given you’re reading this blog, I think if I say “being trans is fine – except when it isn’t”, you’ll know what I mean.
For me, a bimonthly trip out / chance to dress up – see saying that, does make it sound silly (at least to me), is enough 99% of the time. We come back to the latter part of my earlier statement, “..except when it isn’t.” So, yeah. I wasn’t in the best frame of mind. What can you do though? I couldn’t wrangle working from home, which I’ve done in *ahem* emergencies, nor take time off. I just did what I could to ride it out and sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn’t.
That last line is something that’s been floating around my head for a while. I guess I usually pop a question for you to ruminate on – or even answer – at some point, so here it is 🙂 Going back into the past, to times before anti-depressants, therapy and (possibly) the more enlightened times we live in now, how did folk who started to slip under the Black Cloud cope? Not that I am going that way, I hasten to add. I think that much that I didn’t like the CBT at the time, it did help me understand that I can make a difference to my own moods. I don’t have to let them rule me, although that’s not to say that depression is all in the mind. I hear the jury is still out on that, but let’s leave that chat for another day 😉
The visit to Chameleons was much needed and, dare I say, went very well. I wasn’t too late arriving and earlier in the day, as I’d been out and about for work, I had a quick stop off at home to amend my packing. I had planned on trying an office look. Smart trousers, shirt, etc, but it didn’t really work. So, the blouse I’d bought went back, although I did keep the checked shirt I’d got (I’ve been after one for a while because they’re quite ‘daytime’, if that makes sense) and teamed that with skinny jeans. I’m not quite as skinny as I think I should be for them, but I was happy with the final look. Pat was kind enough to help draw in the British Steel cables of my corset, and I owe Val a nod of thanks for taking the snaps.
We had a bring and buy sale, and while a number of people brought items along (including some very nice nail varnishes), these events are a bit hit & miss. That’s not down to what people bring, or the effort the put in, moreover, I think that sometimes, others just aren’t in the buying mood. Anyway, it’s cleared out the cupboards and I’ve kept back some items for a lady (by birth) and another trans friend. Said items are currently lurking in the boot of my car.
Talking of cars, and not technically – my knowledge stops after driving, refuelling and paying 🙂 – as way of a change, I’m writing this blog entry while sat in mine. I’ve got an appointment in about 45 minutes, and here I am, parked up in the village, typing away while the world goes by. It’s not something I’ve done before, blogging (I struggle to call this writing) this early in the day (it’s just gone 9am) and I’ve rather enjoyed the change. Best sign off and say TTFN before the battery gives up on me.