This week’s been a bit up and down. No, don’t worry, not down in a scary way 🙂
Two things upset me this week: firstly there was the news of Baby P being killed by his parents. Lightning strikes twice in the local Social Services who missed a similar case a year or so ago. It’s easy to criticise when you’re not ‘in the system’ though. It’s not easy being a parent sometimes, but there’s a massive difference between losing your rag and yelling at them against the systematic physical abuse that poor kid suffered.
I’ve mentioned anger in previous posts and this incident was no different. I could feel it building up in me, rising up with nowhere to go. Ah, the pointless insanity of it all eh? 🙂 Maybe it was the injustice of the episode; that someone could be repeatedly cruel to such a young child. I wanted to do something. To somehow make it right again, but you can’t can you. You can’t reach back in time and stop it. Still, it’s Children in Need this evening, so while I won’t be making a massive difference to that wee soul’s life, I hope that what I give helps someone else.
(BTW, for those of you outside the UK, Children in Need is an annual charity event run by the BBC. All in a good cause. Oh, and it’s surprising to see the number of *ahem* non-trans folk dragged up in the name of a good cause. Non-trans? Yeah, right. You’re fooling no-one! 😀 ).
The other thing was the report on Remembrance Day and the horrors of war. It seemed to merge with the above. On one hand, the horrible, senseless loss of life as we slugged it out across the trenches. On the other? What if we hadn’t have gone to war? We could have sat back and let the enemy of the time expand as they wished. In my head – not the sanest of places – that seems to gel with Social Services. (Ed: what the f***?)
Let me explain: sometimes you can’t help. All you can do is step in and destroy. I’m not saying that taking a child away from their parents is like the Somme, but that there’s a cost to the action or inaction. Do it: save the victim but destroy the family. Don’t do it: and risk victims. As with most things in life, it’s never black and white is it.
Cheery thoughts eh? Okay, let’s talk about something else shall we? 🙂
Thursday evening got off to a slow start. There was a long tailback due to roadworks and I arrived a little late at Chameleons. When I finally got in there was…. ummm… no-one there. One of the karate crew (who share the venue until 7.30) popped in to ask if we were still on and if not, could they lock up. Luckily I was still in Bob mode, so I didn’t scare her 🙂 For a mo I wondered if I’d got the wrong night, but then Jane turned up and we were back on. Yay!
With Jane’s help, the teas & coffees was set up but we had no milk. Ooops. Two new folk arrived, so I left them in the care of Jane and set off to get the milk. When I got back – luckily the traffic had died down a bit – the place was packed!
For a fleeting moment, I considered not getting changed, but nah, I guess I’m ‘T’ through and through, so off I went. Boots + skinny jeans and a slightly too-short black dress over the top. It didn’t look too short in the shop, but once you sit down, it’s more of a long top 🙂
I had a good long chat with the new girls (ladies?) about why they decided to come along and how they were getting on. Y’know, life and sh** 🙂 One lady was out after telling the wife she’d be out with a mate (technically true) because her wife doesn’t know (haven’t we all been there?).
That brings me back to today’s lyric and while I’m pretty sure it’s not what Malcolm X really meant, but it rings true for some of us T folk. You do what you do to stay sane. Does that sound a bit over the top? Perhaps, but the urge to dress up, if only to spend an hour here to there, is very strong. To deny yourself – and I think a lot of us have been there – is generally ‘bad news’. Moods, anger, depression etc. Must be like living with a bad teenager. 🙂
So I find it better to indulge rather than to deny and I guess I’m one of the lucky ones. I don’t have to hide away so much and I’ve more Trans freedom than I ever thought I would. Sure, the Ever Lovely Mrs Jones has never seen me in ‘Lynn mode’ and to be honest with you, I’m happy with that. I think it would change things between us and I don’t want that. Would I say no if she asked? Mmm, well there’s a question!
Blimey, ending on a cheery note? There’s a turn! Have a good weekend… unless you’re working it, in which case I hope it goes quickly and your proper days off are kind to you. 😀
[ Today’s lyric: The Blade by Front Line Assembly ]