“We’re programmed that way,
In God we trust”


Some days the writing muse just isn’t with me. Early today I was pondering what I could write about but nothing – yes, nothing – sprang to mind. Maybe creativity is like sleep: you can’t force it.

It wasn’t until I’d got home and played with the kids that things started to click into place. In my son’s room I could hear him giggling with joy as his Mum tickled him and got him ready for bed. In my arms, my baby daughter was slipping into sleep while I fed her a bottle. I know parents love their children, it’s wired into us to ensure survival.

Perhaps then this is why the news of the man – and I use that term vaguely as I see little humanity in him – who locked his daughter away for so many years and then… Now this will sound melodramatic, so please forgive me, but my fingers halt when I try to type ‘rape her’. I struggle to comprehend how someone can do that. At this time, words fail me. Perhaps it is better not to know why people do that.

I think about the children born into that vile world and then I look at my own kids. If we have souls, what twist of Fate ensures you ‘land where you land’?

I like to dwell on the positive; that perhaps there is a point to this life yet when things like what happened in Austria, my gut instinct hopes that there’s someone or something Out There(tm) that’ll dish out vengeance. I know that is wrong and it’ll do no good, but my nature – no, the anger in me – wants that. I want that man to know, to understand what he did.

In other more cheery news, Rachel’s posted a link about a new TG focused study. It only takes a few minutes to fill out and it’s about your life experience. Maybe I should have blogged about that! Oh well!! 🙂

Take care and enjoy the long weekend!

[ Today’s lyric: Front Line Assembly’s Bio-Mechanic ]


  1. This is a big post, very difficult. I don’t think there are any answers and I think that right and wrong are something that we add to the world, it seems very cold and indifferent out there. I wonder if we all have the capacity to be heroes or monsters, under certain circumstances. Sorry, too bleak for a bank holiday weekend…

  2. “what twist of Fate ensures you ‘land where you land’?”

    If by fate you mean randomness then I’m with you. I believe there is no purpose to life other than our instinct to survive. What happens to us ultimately has no meaning. We’re here because of some zillions to one chances – and I’m very happy with that.

    Getting back to your point about this Austrian guy, society can only take remedial action, we’re never going to eradicate these people, perhaps taking them out of society is the only way forward. Sorry if that all sounds a bit vague, I’m tired.

    Thoughtful post. Thanks for stirring some grey cells.

  3. Any news like this always takes on a more personal emphasis if you are a parent. I went through alot of ungrounded fears especially,as my son first enter school, about the predators in society that he might have to encounter. I tried to find ways to gradually equip him against those things. Not by frightening him with horror stories, but by building up his own sense of control. It caused a conflict at times with my ex., since she saw dangers everywhere. I wanted him to know how to walk home from school on his own (he was seven & the trip was 5 blocks) if the need arose for instance, and did it gradually over the course of several months. I was still frightened for him and myself all the time doing it. He turns sixteen this month.Part of how he, how I survive is because of the protection we give to our children and each other.

    I also know it isn’t right, but I can’t help feeling the same as you about vengeance towards those who don’t seem to care about being human in any positive sense of the word and have no respect for the humanity of others. It disturbs me to realize that I feel that way, more so because I know that I’m capable of acting on those feelings under certain circumstances (I was drafted and served in Vietnam for 18 months). I was told it was both right and necessary to kill to protect my country. Is it less right to do so to protect that county’s children?
    Having such feelings and the capability to act on them, makes me seriously question the extent of my own humanity. Many people get damaged by life, but they all don’t become sub human because of it. Do we have a “right” to physically abuse and destroy those around us for our own gratification ever? Capital punishment doesn’t always seem to me to be as simple as an eye for an eye revenge. Sometimes it just seems to be collective self defense.

    Sorry to rant. Its not a pleasant thought to ponder judging the value of another.Especially when the seem incapable of seeing value in others themselves.

  4. Thank you all for your comments. The original post felt a bit like a rant when I did it, but you gave it some thought. Thanks.

    Penny > I think most of us are born into normality (for want of a better word). A few people step away from that becoming heroes or monsters as you say.

    Rachel > Yes, I do mean randomness. If there is no pattern or master plan, then making the most of now is what counts. 🙂

    The monsters – whatever they be: child stealers, murders or this decade’s current BogeyMan, the terrorist – will always be with us because they are us. If that makes any sense at all. The idea of an all seeing eye that watches us to keep us safe I find very chilling.

    BTW, ‘grey cells’ – you’re welcome.

    Emma > I think the fear is higher than the risk. There is a lot in a child’s life that *could* go wrong (but doesn’t) and I think you are right to mentally equip your son to deal with what life throws at him.

    My use of the word vegeance is I think a bad choice. When I can remove my anger from the issue, what purpose would physically punishing him do? Dare I say it, for all he has done I would rather he truly understand what he did. I hesitate to use the word ‘repent’ because of the religious link, but I can’t think of another one right now.

    One of my family had worked in mental health and has looked after the people who cannot be released into society – either for their own safety or our own.

    For what it’s worth, I don’t believe in the death penalty – my gut feeling is that it is just wrong. Killing a criminal isn’t going to bring a loved one back. Indeed, killing a ‘leader’ can rally the faithful.

    In regard to your question about ‘protect the country’s children’, that’s a tough issue and one loaded with emotion. From a cold logic point of view, abusers need to be removed from the situation and (if possible), rehabilitated. From the point of view of a parent finding out, well, that’d be a very different answer. I really don’t want to contemplate what I could do.

    But we are moving towards another topic aren’t we? Heh. So much for ‘another tranny blog’, here we are discussing society and capitial punishment rather than a new lippy. 🙂

  5. Lynn, children and adults are amazingly resiliant, take some comfort in that.

    Normal is what you know, not what everyone else is doing. If it turns out NOT to be what everyone else is doing, then you have a tough time learning what that is and trying to adapt.

    Sometimes adaptation is necessary and sometimes not. Determining when it’s ok to be different is the secret to being happy.

  6. Leah > True, very true. People do overcome incidents that flatten others.

    As to normal. Isn’t that another word for average? 🙂 Who wants to be average? 😀

    Emma > LOL. No need to apologise, conversation comes from all angles and this blog wouldn’t be half as interesting if it wasn’t for the thoughts that other people leave. I find they make me think again.

    BTW, lippy at a trial? None if you’re dressed as a guy, unless you are Marilyn Manson in which case, black. 😀 Other than that, whatever shade you like. 🙂

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